Friday, February 3, 2012

I gave up on the church....


When I was a kid, my parents used to go to church all the time and my sisters and I went to church with them. I remember going to Sunday School and vacation bible school. I even joined a special program just for boys that my Sunday school teacher led. I don’t remember much about the program except that we went camping.

On my very first camping trip I was 10 years old. We went to a camp with lots of other boys from other churches. It was rustic camping and the first thing we did was lay out our sleeping bags on the grass in a big meadow. I was the last one done, so as I finished I took off running after the other kids. But I didn’t get very far before my leader called me back.

Apparently when I ran after the other kids I stepped on some sleeping bags leaving my footprint. My leader told me that I had broken one of the rules; I had stepped on someone else’s sleeping bag. He explained to me that no one wanted footprints on their sleeping bag. Then he told me that there was a punishment for breaking the rules and he pulled out the bottom of a tennis shoe and proceeded to swat me with it. I don’t remember anything else about that camp.

When I went home I told my parents, I am never going to go back to church again. They saw how hurt I was, they knew I had had some trouble with some of the boys in my Sunday school class; I was the fat kid and they made fun of me; and the worst kid in my class was the son of my Sunday school teacher. See when someone made fun of me at school I just punched them, but at church, that wasn’t the way to do things… after all God was there! So when I was 10 years old my entire family stopped going to church.

I didn’t have much use for church after that.

When I was in 10th grade a girl invited me to go with her to a high school club called Campus Life. They were having something called a burger bash which was basically a free hamburger dinner! Finally someone was speaking my language; free burgers and I was invited by a girl!

I found out that Campus Life was a Christian club for High school students, but unlike my previous church experience - it was a lot of fun. They played games, there were girls, they always had some kind of food at the end, and there was some kind of talk about God. That was cool; I figured that I had gone to church when he was a kid, so I was cool with God. I mean I assumed that I was a Christian because I used to go to church.

I went to Campus Life all through high school. It was a regular part of my life that I looked forward to every week.

High school was good to me. I may have grown up a fat kid but in high school, things changed and I went from being the fat kid that kids made fun of and basically ignored to a really big guy. I started playing football and I found my niche, I was a jock! I just wanted to fit in someplace really bad and finally as a football player I experienced some kind of acceptance.

That’s all I really wanted was to feel accepted. Unfortunately, as an athlete you’re accepted as long as you play well, make a mistake and everyone turns on you. So my acceptance in High school was partially due to athletics and partly due to fear. I thought that if people feared me they would accept me, so I became a bully; I made the kids pay for making fun of me and I began pushing other people around, getting in fights, and acting as tough as I could.

But that wasn’t really satisfying. That wasn’t real acceptance. People weren’t my friends because they liked me, it was self preservation. It didn’t matter to me, I wanted to be accepted and I was willing to do anything to at least think people liked me.

My senior year of high school my campus life club went on a water ski trip to Lake Havasu for spring break. A whole week camping, hanging out in the sun, water-skiing, BBQ every night and girls in bikinis, what more could a guy want!

But as great as those things were that wasn’t the highlight of my week. For the first time in my life I felt totally accepted. I didn't have to be a bully, or a jock, or funny, or anything. They cared for me just because I was there. There were 150 kids there who were happy, I mattered to them and not just because they didn't want to get beat up.

They had a speaker on this ski trip who was a USC offensive lineman and he had just been drafted by the New England Patriots. He was also the Captain of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes at USC.

He spoke about God as a loving, caring God who accepted everybody for who they were. I wanted this relationship with God he was talking about but I had this effeminate view of Christians. None of the really tough guys I knew were Christians, and being tough was a significant part of my life. I was very interested in how this huge All American Linemen could play football, a really tough sport, and be a Christian.

One night after He finished speaking I asked to speak with him alone. We sat on a log and talked. I asked him "How can you be a Christian and be a football player? After all football was a violent sport. And I loved the violence: I played to win at all costs, even if that meant playing dirty." He said, "Football is a game - not a way of life. He said you can’t live your life as if it was a football game, and you can't play football as if it was your life."

And He told me that the most important thing I could ever do with my life was to begin a relationship with God who loved and accepted me so much that He sent His Son to die for me on the cross.

That week I asked Jesus to be my Savior, and for the very first time I experienced complete and total acceptance. For the first time in my life I found peace and fulfillment. For the first time I began to understand the joy and unconditional acceptance the other kids were experiencing and that I had been looking for.

That began a lifetime of changes in my life. But it almost didn’t happen. I almost gave up on God because the church had treated me badly.

Unfortunately, I’m not the only one who has a story of rejection, un-acceptance or hurt by the people in the church.

Over the past several decades huge numbers of people have left the church because of being rejected as not good enough, being hurt, broken trust and irrelevance.

But it shouldn’t be that way! We have the keys to the kingdom of God. God has entrusted us with the responsibility of telling people about Him, His love for us, and how He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross just so we could have a relationship with Him.

Our American culture has shifted away from the church. And now we live in a postmodern society that not only doesn’t understand the church, but they don’t understand God. And many of those who do have some kind of understanding of God have given up on the church.
But again, that’s not the way it’s supposed to be!

There is so much misconception of what the church is supposed to be that it has buried the truth of what God designed the church to be. So when we try to tell people about who God is and how He loves them, they get hung up on the church.
· All they think about is that the church just wants their money,
· Or the church wants to make people be just like them,
· Or the church is full of a bunch of rules and regulations.
They are willing to find out about God, most Americans say they believe in God, but their view of the church stops them cold.

They don’t trust us to tell them that their misconceptions of church are wrong, especially since they can walk into many churches where the very thing that turned them off is still going on.

Maybe you’re one of those people who have been turned off by the church. I will make you a promise; any church that I am a part of will be different! I have experienced the complete forgiving grace of God, and I will always, to the best of my ability, offer that same grace to everyone I meet. That's why at The River Christian Church we boast, "NO PERFECT PEOPLE ALLOWED!"

www.RiverChristianChurch.com

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I wish I lived near you and could take you up on your offer. When I was in high school I was an officer in my church youth group (which was very large) and believed we were all equal to our youth pastors. But I found out when I was a senior that if you made a mistake or were thought to have made one, and you weren't part of a particular group or looked a certain way you could fall out of favor. I had a youth pastor verbally abuse me, name calling etc., for something I hadn't even done, in front of a bus full of my peers. I was so shocked to have someone I respected as an adult leader be so hurtful. I found out years later that although to many he was a fabulous man there were more like me that had my kind of experience. I was thankful to go on to college and have a college pastor that was different but that high school experience left a scar.