Parenting Panel Unanswered Questions

On March 26th, at the end of the series "Families For Dummies" we held a "Family Panel" with several couples poised to answer questions submitted from our church family. We could not get to all the questions, so here are brief answers to the unanswered questions that were text-ed in for the panel. If you have additional questions please contact me and we can set an appointment for further information.

God bless

Pastor Dave

How do you handle it when you child constantly questions your authority?

When children challenge your authority, they are usually testing you to see how far they can go. Dr. James Dobson says, “Children are constantly trying to determine where the boundaries are.”  You are the one who sets the boundaries; therefore they will continually test the boundaries you set, making you feel that they are challenging your authority. Your job? REMAIN STEADFAST! You are the one God is using to shape their lives. Don’t give up. It may feel like a constant losing battle, but it’s not. It will pay off in the long run… hopefully shorter! J

Please, explain the importance behind eating family meals together.

Short answer: UNITY! It provides a regular opportunity to decompress life events comfortably around the dinner table. Many important subjects crop up in the context of the comfort of a relaxed dinner together. This may be one of the best opportunities to get to know your children, their friends that are invited over, and for them to have your dedicated attention. It also provides unbelievable opportunities for teaching and training.

Why is it better to spank with an object rather than a hand?

You never want your children to shy away from your touch. The problem with spanking with the hand is it’s the best instrument for a loving touch. With it you stroke their face, rib their back, and hold them close to you. It is an instrument of love, not discipline.

How do you keep kids from overtaking your marriage in a negative way?

Remember your children are not the reason you got married. You got married because you love your spouse and you want to share the rest of your life with them. Therefore, you need to develop the discipline to make sure you spend time as a married couple investing in your relationship and into each other. Your job in parenting is to provide for your children, grow them up in the disciplines of the Lord, and equip them for life, so you can send them out adequately equipped to live on their own. Too many couples devote so much time on child rearing that they lose touch with each other and they lose their focus. This is a difficult discipline! Make it a priority, if you don’t, your children will squeeze everything out of you and you will have nothing left for each other. And when the kids leave you will wake up one day and look at each other as strangers. Don’t let that happen!

How do you handle having two different ideas of discipline in between two parents?

It takes unifying compromise. It makes sense; you come from different families, different backgrounds, different styles of family and how you were treated. Your job as adults with children is to sit down and talk about your experiences and willingly work through how the two of you will discipline your children. Sometimes this requires an outside “mediator” to help you think through it unemotionally. So if needed get some help! Where? A respected mature couple whom you both agree on, a Christian Counselor, pastor, and possibly your parents. Whatever you decide on, it must be mutual and unified!

What are some practical ways that a man can keep from resigning all of the parenting responsibility to their wife?

I am assuming that this is the wife asking this question. It takes a dedicated conversation, or many conversations. Determining responsibility in parenting is always a result of communication, compromise, and consideration. Unfortunately many men think of parenting as a woman’s job, Not according to the Bible! IN Ephesians 6:4 Paul instructs “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” That seems pretty clear, God expects Dads to be radically involved in the parenting process. Sometimes, it takes some good counsel from a respected man to help a dad understand this responsibility. Don’t sit at home and try to argue your husband into parenting, find someone who he respects and ask for their input.

Do you make your kids go to church? And if so, When do you stop making your kids go to church?

As long as your children are your responsibility, meaning they live under your roof and you pay the bills, absolutely! Remember it is your job to teach your children about God and to give them every opportunity to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. How is that going to happen if church is an option? If you don’t require them to attend church, it suggests that God is an option as well. Do you want to stand before God some day and say, “God, I’m sorry; my kids didn’t want to get up and go to church. I decided to let them find You on their own, and unfortunately when they didn’t.”

How do you decide how much freedom to give your kids?

It depends on how much freedom they earn. Freedom is earned through responsibility. The parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30 & Luke 19:12-27) is a good example of how to give out freedom. You give them small freedoms and see how they handle it, encourage them on how to use the freedom, and you reward the good use of freedom with additional appropriate freedoms.

How do you handle the adult handoff (when your kids are ready to spread their wings?)

If you have been properly preparing them to leave your home, it will be a natural part of the process. A significant key is: when they leave home, let them experience all the benefits and consequences of their decisions. If you save them every time they fail, you’re probably getting in the way of God’s natural process of growth and maturity. Both Paul and James wrote on how God grow us up. (Romans 5:3-5 & James 1:2-4)

When do you start encouraging them to spread their wings?

As soon as they are capable and ready. The earlier the better!

How do you resign authority without resigning influence?

Authority means you determine what they can and cannot do. Influence is providing suggestions without requirement. Your authority is limited to your responsibility. If you are no longer responsible (they are not living at home anymore) your authority has ended, but your influence should never end!  You prepare your children and yourself for this by teaching them to make good decisions, by offering simple options to your children whenever the opportunity arises. It starts simply: your children need new athletic shoes; so you go to the store and let them try on two different kinds of shoes that you choose. Then you give them a choice between the two. As they get older the choices and options become bigger and more diverse. This teaches them good decision making and it teaches them to allow you to offer opinions on more difficult issues as they grow up.

The Tax Return Challenge!

Philippians 4:19 (NIV) “And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

This is God's promise to meet all your needs, Isn't that awesome? YES IT IS!

How do you claim this promise? For every promise God gives there is a premise. Last Sunday I explained the premises to the promise of God meeting all our needs. (click here to listen to last Sunday's podcast) For review sake here they are: God says if you will...
• Ask for my help
• Learn to be content with what you have
• Begin tithing
• Live with integrity in all your financial dealings
• Trust Jesus with all your heart
God says... I promise to meet ALL your needs!

For many of us the most difficult premise is to begin tithing. I really want you to experience God's blessings just like I do. Therefore, I challenge you to begin to give something, no matter what your financial standing is and watch God bless you. If you are unable to give 10% start with 3% or 5% and commit to buld up to 10% as God blesses.

Here's a challenge that will help you experience God's blessing. It's called The TAX RETURN CHALLENGE. Here's how it works: Before you figure out your taxes, before you know what you will getting back, before you make any plans with what will do with your tax return - CONSIDER GOD FIRST. Commit ahead of time to give 10% , a tithe of your tax return, to your church, before you even know how much it is. When you get your tax return; before you spend it on your bills, a new TV, a vacation or put it into savings, give 10% right off the top to God.

Then sit back and watch God bless! And as God blesses you, share your blessings with your Life Group and with me. I love to hear how God takes care of His children. I'm looking forward to hear how God is blessing you!

Remember, I love you!
Pastor Dave

Welcome To The River!

At The River we work hard to provide a unique environment in which anyone, and we mean anyone can be comfortable.

We seek to provide a diverse, judgment free zone where a lasting, active relationship with God can be discovered and developed at your own pace.

As we grow and develop as a church family we are seeking to continually provide a safe, energetic environment, where everyone feels accepted and respected.

We know that no one is perfect, except God, but we also know that God wants us to continually be in the process of becoming more like Him, so we are here to encourage you to be everything that God created you to be.

Therefore The River is committed to be a place where you can become and belong.

Our Mission: Come as you are, Love Jesus, Serve Others, and Tell the Story!

We are The River!

Why I love the church and hate the church...

I love the church, it is the body of Christ. So why do I struggle with liking the church?

The church as God designed it is a loving accepting home for any and everyone. Unfortunately that is not what the church seems to be. Honestly, there are many churches who do show grace and acceptance, at least for a while. But for some reason as soon as a person who really needs grace, comes to church, we begin to try to change them. Not that change is bad, it is God's will, but we seem to think God gave US the responsibility to change people. He didn't. That's the job of the Holy Spirit. Our job is to love people, accept them, nurture them, teach His Word to them, encourage obedience, and then love some more; with the same grace God extended to each and every one of us and then leave the results up to GOD! Why can't we get that?

Try to love the unlovely for a while. The back slidden Christian, the self committed atheist or agnostic. Try to love those who are different than you; someone of a different ethnic group, a different lifestyle choice, a different economic class, a different sub culture than you. It's not easy, but it's God's command. We are to love people just like He loves us. Jesus said "Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay his life down fr his friends." John 15:13 (NIV) That's the standard.

It is sad to me that one of the great commands of Christ is that we love one another, but it is that same command that convicts us all and turns the world away from Christ. Let's learn to love like Jesus; totally and completely accepting of all people, no matter what the background, race, lifestyle preference, culture, or actions. We are to love people to Christ and let Him change their lives. That is my prayer for the church. That is my prayer for you.

Serve Others- Using What God has Given Me

Three weeks ago I began a series teaching on our Mission at The River. Our Mission is simple:
· Come as you are- we are a judgment free zone!
· Love Jesus – This is our ultimate purpose for being here, it’s what God created us for – to love Jesus
· And today part 3; Serve Others - using what God gave you. That’s what God wants us to do. He wants us to use the talents, abilities, and spiritual gifts He gave us to serve others.

Check this out: Several years ago, a fire destroyed a building that contained tons of ice. Although the building contained enough material to extinguish the fire, the water was not in usable form. The building was literally full of frozen assets.

I think that describes most of us. We have all kinds of potential locked up inside of us, yet it remains frozen, unused, and wasted.

For those of us who are Christians, We have even more potential because God has given each one of us an extra helping of abilities, skills, and talents called Spiritual gifts. And God wants us to use those abilities and gifts to serve others.

Let me review three things that God gives to us the moment we fall in love with Jesus and accept Him as our Lord and Savior…
I. GOD GIVES ME THREE GIFTS WHEN I accept CHRIST
God does more than forgive me of my sin, He also gives me…

1. Eternal life. When I open my life to Jesus Christ, instantly I'm given eternal life.
Romans 6:23 (NLT) "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
I never have to worry about my future; I know I'm going to heaven. It's solid and I’m secure.

2. The Holy Spirit. The moment I gave my life to Jesus Christ, God gave His Spirit to me to live inside me.

Romans 5:5 (LB) “…God has given us His Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.”

And He'll never leave you and you'll never be alone. God is with you for the rest of eternity.

3. A special ability to use for His purpose.

Romans 12:6 (LB) "God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well."
(NASB) “Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly."

When you become a Christ follower, God gives you a brand new purpose for living, and along with that new life purpose He gives you a special gift or gifts to fulfill that purpose and he expects you to use those gifts, they’re what we call spiritual gifts. The Bible has a lot to say about spiritual gifts.

Every Christian gets at least one spiritual gift. That's different from a natural ability. Everybody has natural abilities. But only believers have spiritual gifts.
· When you were born physically, God gave you physical gifts like hearing, taste, touch, sight, smell Maybe He gave you athletic abilities, the ability to write, do math, think outside the box. Those are natural abilities and everyone gets some.
· But when you become a Christ follower God gives you some spiritual abilities or spiritual gifts to serve Him. Every believer has at least one. They are given to you at the moment of salvation.
Now God chooses which gifts you're going to get; you don't get to choose. They're given by grace; you don't earn the gift, it's God's free gift to you.

There are several lists of spiritual gifts in the Bible.
Romans 12:6-8; 1 Corinthians 12-14; and Ephesians 4:7-16; 1 Peter 4:9-11

I don't think these lists are exhaustive. I think they're simply examples. When you include the special gifts mentioned in the Old Testament I think the list is much larger than the list of gifts that’s actually mentioned in these passages. I think they're just examples for us in Scripture.

Here’s my point: any time you're serving God and you're doing it well and you're having fun doing it, you're demonstrating giftedness; you’re using the gifts God has given you.

II. THE IMPORTANCE OF MY SPIRITUAL GIFTS

Why is it important to know my spiritual gift? Because, if I'm a Christian, God gave me at least one, probably several, and if He gave them to me He expects me to use them.

As a believer, there are 3 very important reasons, to discover, develop and use your spiritual gifts. So let’s look at them.

I need to know what my spiritual gifts are because…
1. MY GIFTS DETERMINE HOW GOD WANTS ME TO SERVE OTHERS.

I Corinthians 12:4-6 "There are different kinds of gifts but the same spirit. There are different kinds of service but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working but the same God works in all of them."

Your spiritual gifts determine how God wants you to serve Him.
Once you understand what your spiritual gift is, it answers a lot of questions. For example:
· "What is God's will for my life?"
· "What does He want me to do now that I'm a Christian?"
· "What should my ministry be?"
· "How should I spend my time?"
· "Where should I focus my life?"
Each of these questions are answered when you understand your particular spiritual gift.

Every Christian is called to serve the cause of Christ, but your spiritual gift shows how you, individually, are to serve Him.
· If you're gifted in leading then God wants you to be a leader.
· If you’re gifted in teaching then you need to be a teacher.
· If you're gifted in music then you ought to sing or play music
· If you're gifted in talking to non-Christians about Jesus you ought to be an evangelist.
However you're gifted determines how to use your life for God.

Notice the word different in 1 Cor. 12:4-6 it’s used 3 times.
· It says there are different kinds of spiritual gifts
· There are different kinds of service
· There are different kinds of working
Every gift in your life is unique, meaning God doesn’t want you to copy other people's spiritual gifts.

There is always a temptation to copy other Christian's gifts, because their gifts seem cooler or more important than yours.

But God doesn't want you to copy anybody else; He knows what gift is best for you. That's why He is the one who determines what gift you will get.

Spiritual Gifts explain why Christians who believe the same things see things differently.

Have you noticed that even though we believe the same, Christians disagree about a lot? Why?
It's because of giftedness. We see things differently. We tend to emphasize what we're gifted in.

Check this out… If seven spiritual gifts were represented in a family and somebody dropped their desert on the floor here's how each person would respond according to their giftedness:
· Mercy – Put your arm around and empathize
· Preaching - That's what happens when you're not careful!
· Administration - Jim, would you get the mop? Sue pick it up.
· Serving - Let me help you clean it up!
· Teaching - The reason it fell is because you weren’t carrying it right and it was too heavy on one side. They are practical.
· Giving – Can I buy you a new desert?
· Exhortation – There is a deeper reason you dropped your desert, the bible says….

Truth is we're all different. That’s how Christians become divided; they tend to over focus on certain gifts.
· Some people think the most important gift is teaching so they go to a strong teaching church.
· Another says the most important gift is evangelism. So they go to a very evangelistic church.
· For another it's miracles so they go to a miracle church.
But they’re all equally important. The key is to not expect your gift to show in others and don't project your gift onto others.

All the gifts are important and they’re all necessary. What you need to know is that your gift shows God's plan for your life.

I need to know what my spiritual gifts are because…
2. MY GIFTS SHOW ME THAT I’M IMPORTANT.

1 Corinthians 12:27 "All of you form the one body of Christ and each one is a separate and necessary part of it."

You're needed. You're important. There are no little people or little jobs; truth is all the gifts are needed.
You’re just as important in the body of Christ as I am or anyone else. Every gift is needed.
· My gift is the power God gives me to bless others.
· God gives you a spiritual gift to bless other Christians too.
· If I don't use my gift, you get cheated.
· If you don't use your gift, I get cheated
The fact is if we don’t use our gifts everybody gets cheated.

God designed you to make a unique contribution. You're not gifted by accident; without you the picture isn't complete.

It's like a jigsaw puzzle with one part missing. Every Christ follower is needed in the body of Christ.

I need to know what my spiritual gifts are because…
3. MY GIFTS ARE THE KEY TO MY FULFILLMENT IN LIFE.

Everyone has the desire to be used in some way. And every one has the desire to accomplish something, to feel significant, to feel like your life makes a difference.

When you use the spiritual gift that God has given you - you're not only productive, but you’re doing what God has gifted you to do, and when you do what God designed you to do - you enjoy doing it.

John 15:8 & 11 (PH) "This is how my Father is glorified --in your becoming fruitful (productive) and being my disciples… I've told you this so that you can share my joy and that your happiness may be complete."

· Real joy does not come from making a lot of money.
· Real joy does not come from having a lot of pleasure.
· Real joy does not come from things.
Real joy comes from knowing my life is productive, that it counts, that it matters that I'm not just taking up space.

You find real joy and happiness by being what God meant you to be, by taking the gifts and abilities He's given you and using them. You feel a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.

The Bible says that spiritual gifts are given to help other people.
God gives me one to bless you.
God gives you one to bless me.
And there is enormous personal satisfaction that comes from being used by God.

Nothing else to compares to the feeling of serving God. Being used by God is the greatest feeling and thrill you can experience in life.

Some of you can't comprehend that. If you've never experienced what it means to feel used by God you're missing out on real joy, the joy that God wants you to experience.

Nothing compares to knowing that God gave me a gift and I'm using it and God is blessing it.

God wants you to feel that feeling. He wants you to unwrap and use that gift. He wants you to use it so you can experience a satisfaction that compares to nothing else.

III. WHAT DOES GOD WANT ME TO DO WITH MY GIFT?

He wants you to do three things:

1. Discover it.
1 Corinthians 14:1 "Eagerly desire spiritual gifts."
One of the marks that proves you’re a Christian is that you have a desire to know your spiritual gift and to use it serving God.

In fact, if you have no desire to know your spiritual gift, develop it and use it, you ought to question whether you're a Christian or not.

The mark of a genuine Christ follower is they have a desire to know the gifts that God's given them and to use them.

God gave you your gifts - so it only makes sense that He wants you to know what your spiritual gift is.
I Corinthians 12:1 "Now about spiritual gifts, brothers, I do not want you to be ignorant.” God says, I don't want you to be ignorant of gifts. I want you to know them.

So how do I discover my spiritual gifts?
Examination and experimentation. By examining my Christian life and by experimenting with different kinds of service.

1. Examination. First, I discover my spiritual gifts by looking back on my Christian life and saying,
· In the ways I've served God so far, and what have I really enjoyed doing?
· What has God blessed?
· Where have people been impacted?
· Where have I seen results?
If you've never gotten involved in serving in a ministry since you've become a Christian there's no way you're going to know your gift.

2. Experimentation. Secondly, if you don't have anything to look back on you're going to have experiment with different kinds of ministries and service.
So what interests you? Try out some different ministries:
· Greeting
· Small groups
· Hospitality
· Teaching children
· Work with youth
· Start a singles ministry
· Rock babies in the Nursery
· Sing or try to sing on the worship Team
· Play in the band
· Get involved with set up and take down
· Sound tech, computers, lights, etc.
One of them will feel like your niche. If we don’t have a ministry that fits… make one up! Truth is if your gifted in something that we are not doing, then God has put you here to start it! Use your gifts and start a new ministry here at The River.

You need to do what God's gifted you to do. It will be enjoyable and you'll like doing it. When you do that you've found your gift and your ministry!

If you had told me 30 years ago that someday I’d plant a new church in Las Vegas and then another one in Eagle Idaho, I'd have said, "You're nuts!" I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be a church planter. In fact at that time, I never thought I would be a senior pastor. I was a youth pastor and I loved it and I never wanted to be a lead pastor! But I discovered I’m good at it, I’m gifted at it, and now I love it!

Taking spiritual gifts tests can help. There are a bunch of them online. But every test has to be somewhat standardized and we're all unique.

If I'd taken a test, never in a million years would I have discovered I have the gift of Apostle; one who starts a new work or plants a new church.

When I planted my first church in Las Vegas the only way I could have known I was gifted to plant a church was to do it!

So we trusted God, packed our stuff and moved to Las Vegas. I found out I had a special gift for starting churches. Then 12 years later, did it again when we moved here.

The only way you discover your gift is get out there and start doing something. Try it.

2. Develop it

Paul tells Timothy
1 Timothy 4:14 (GN) "Don't neglect the spiritual gift that is in you."

Many of you already know what you're good at. You know how God's gifted you. But if you're not using it for God's glory, then you're neglecting your spiritual gift.

Why? Maybe you think…
· I'm too busy
· I'm not good enough
· What if I fail or embarrass myself?
Satan will do everything he can to keep you from discovering and developing your spiritual gift.

He'll even try to get you involved in all kinds of good things to keep you from the best thing so you don't know the thrill of being used by God.

So follow God’s direction….
2 Timothy 1:6 (JB) "Fan into flame the gift God gave you."

Strengthen your gift, deepen it, increase it, and cultivate it. Don't get discouraged. Don't quit. Get some training, go to conferences, read books, find someone who is good at it to help you.
Just because you're gifted in an area doesn't mean it's easy. You may be gifted in counseling or caring for people who are hurting but that's not easy week after week. You may be gifted in organizing events but that doesn't mean it's easy.

I can tell you from experience it’s not easy starting a new church or teaching every Sunday, but I do it, it’s hard work but I love it!

So don't give up. Keep on doing until it feels good - or until you figure out it’s not your gift, then try something else!

3. Use it.

1 Peter 4:10 "Each one should use whatever spiritual gift he has received to serve others faithfully managing God's grace in its various forms."

God wants you to use the gifts He has given to you -- and the church is the place to discover and develop and use your gift.

Ephesians 4:12 (LB) "Why is it that he gives us these special abilities to do certain things best? It is that God's people will be equipped to do better work for Him, building up the church, the Body of Christ, to a position of strength and maturity."

God's plan is brilliant: Every Christian gets a spiritual gift…
· so that everybody can contribute,
· so that everybody's important,
· so that nobody feels insignificant,
· So that we all function together in harmony.

He says, I'll give every Christian a spiritual gift so that every person can be a partner with God in the most important task in the world, building His kingdom.

So here’s God's plan:
· some people set up,
· some people organize,
· some people make artistic signs, banners, or decorations
· some people do music,
· some people teach,
· some people work with kids,
· some people know how to raise money
Everybody's important. No one is more important than the others. It's all God's plan. It takes everybody.

In Matthew 25 there's a story called the Parable of the Talents. Jesus tells this story to say, "One day you're going to stand before God and He’s going to ask you, `What did you do with what I gave you?'"

When you stand before Jesus one day and He asks, "Why didn’t you discover, develop, and use your gift?" What are you going to say?

Folks this is serious stuff. One day there's going to be a final exam and as your pastor want you to be able to give the right answer.

What we're talking about here is of vital importance.
· God is not going to hold you accountable for gifts He didn't give you.
· But He is going to hold you accountable for the gifts He did give you.

1 Corinthians 4:2 "Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful."

God has made an investment in you and it is a sin to waste what God has given you. So don’t waste it!
God has given you spiritual gifts that are to be discovered, developed and used.

WRAP-UP
We are getting ready for an out pouring of God’s blessing next month. As we have our Grand Opening I believe God has positioned us here in Eagle to further His kingdom in a significant way.

There are so many things that need to be done as we kick off.
· There are new ministries that we need to start
· We need to build up and support all our core ministries, like children, youth, small groups, setup, tech, worship, greeters, and hospitality.
· I would love for us to start a drama team, a food bank, a helping hands ministry where people can find someone in the church who can help them do something they cannot do for themselves, for free!
· We need people who are willing to go door to door and tell people that a new church is starting.

There is much to be done. Jesus Said…
Matthew 9:37-37 “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

I’m asking God to send you out into the harvest field, serving others for His sake.

OUR MISSION AT THE RIVER – Part 2

Love Jesus – The Foundation of Our Faith

Our greatest desire at The River is to help you discover what it means to love Jesus. We will never push religion, God, Jesus or our church on anyone.

We want to celebrate what it means to be a Christ follower!

So we tell people come as you are, check us out, ask questions, take as much time as you need, but our goal is for you to fall in love with Jesus.

But what does that mean? There are so many misconceptions about what love is that if we're going to really understand how to love Jesus we have to start with understanding what real love is.

Love is a word that we use and misuse in many different ways. We say things like:
· I love my wife.
· I love pepperoni pizza. I hope I feel differently about Cathy than I do about pepperoni pizza or at least maybe more passionately
· I love America.
· I love apple pie.
· I love you.
Same word, different meanings.

What does the word mean? That's the key. If I'm going to love Jesus, I've got to understand what this word is all about.

First let’s look at some popular misconceptions that confuse our understanding of love.

1. Love is only a feeling. I get a feeling, a quiver in my liver, an ocean of emotion, or a tingle in my toes. But love is more than a feeling. It affects my feelings powerfully, but it's more than just a feeling.

2. Love is uncontrollable. A lot of people use words like I feel giddy, my head's spinning, or I'm weak in the knees. It sounds a lot more like being sea sick than love struck, but that's the words that we use to describe love.

We've all heard people say, "I fell in love." Like you're walking down the street one day, tripped, and fell in love. When you say that what you're really saying is, “it just happened, I couldn't help it; I had no control over it.”

That's a dangerous misconception. Because if you can fall into love, then you can fall out of love.

You may not realize it, but you can control love, in fact the Bible teaches that love is controllable. It is actually up to you to determine if you fall in or out of love.

In fact Jesus actually commanded us to love one another.
John 15:12 (NIV) “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”

If He commanded it, obviously it’s something we can control.
That means I have control over when I love and when I don't love. Who I love and who I don’t love.

God’s love, Agape love is a different kind of love than we’re used to. His love is powerful, complete, and unconditional. He loves us and He wants us to love Him back and to love others.

So if love is more than just a feeling and you have control over it, then what does God say about love?

1. God says, Love is a choice.
Colossians 3:14 (NIV) "And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together." Circle "put on love". Love is something that I choose to do. It’s an action that I take. If it were a feeling, or just an accident, then God couldn't command it. But it’s a choice so He can command it and that leads to the second thing God says about love.

2. Love is a matter of conduct. It's how I act.
1 John 3:18 "Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and truth." Actions -- that's what love is really all about. It's how I act towards another person. You can talk about love until you're blue in the face, but your actions will always determine what is real.

3. Love is what God has for us unconditionally.
Romans 5:8 (TEV) “God has shown us how much He loves us; It was while we were still sinners that Christ died for us.”

When you understand God’s love, it includes a forgiveness capacity that strains anyone’s imagination.

God doesn’t say, “Clean up your act first and then come to Me.” God says, “Come to Me. Receive My love and I will help you clean up your act.”

When we receive God’s unconditional love He forgives us for everything we have ever done.

Luke 24:47 (LB) “There is forgiveness of sins for all who turn to me.”

It’s like this: Imagine that God gave you the ability to remember everything wrong you’ve ever done– every bad thing, every sin, everything you’ve ever done and you had to write it down in a notebook. Some of you are thinking, “That’s a lot of notebooks!” You’re right. Now God says give Me your notebooks and He drops them into a trash can that says “FORGIVEN”. Then He walks you into a party, a celebration. There’s music going and streamers and people are hollering. And it’s a party for you.

That’s what heaven’s like. And Jesus tells us three stories to explain it. He tells us a story about…
a woman who lost a coin,
a shepherd who lost a sheep,
and father who lost a lost son.

Guess what happens when the coin, the sheep and the son are found? They celebrate! God and all the Angels in heaven party!
· He’s not rejoicing because all the problems of the world have been solved.
· He’s not rejoicing because all human pain and suffering are over.
· He’s not rejoicing because thousands have been converted and are now praising His goodness.
He rejoices because that which was lost has now been found. He rejoices because one of His creations has been found.

If you’re here today and you are just checking things out, today’s your day to be found. It’s your day to respond to God’s love and to receive it. God wants to throw a party in your name, today!

John 1:12 (NLT) “But to all who believed Him and accepted Him, He gave them the right to become children of God.”

That’s what a Christian is - a child of God. If you’ve never received God’s love, what are you waiting for?

All you have to do is say, “God, here I am. I want to be your child. I accept your Son Jesus Christ.” That’s what being a Christian is.

So let me make it simple, here are the ABC’s of loving Jesus.

What do I have to do to love Jesus?
A - ACCEPT GOD'S LOVE FOR ME.

This is what we have been talking about. But think about it like this:
Your deepest need in life is to feel totally and unconditionally loved.
· Not for something you could be or should be,
· But loved just as you are, total acceptance.
That is your deepest inner need.

And only God can love you with as much love as you really need. God loves you every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year.

There's never been a time in your life when God didn't love you. Nobody else can do that. Only God can love you as deeply as you really need.

So if to be loved is your deepest need, and God loves you as much as you need, why people avoid God? Because they don't know what He's like. They don't know how much He loves them.

It's ironic to me that when you need God's love the most is when you tend to run the other way. Guilt causes us to run from God instead of running to God.

That started way back at the Garden of Eden. Adam, after eating the forbidden fruit says, "I was afraid and I hid myself." And people have been afraid and running from God ever since.

I used to have a big sign in my office that said, "If you feel far from God, guess who moved?" It’s not God, God hasn't moved. He's never stopped loving you. In fact He continues to pursue you.

But some of you say, "But you don't know what I've done! I've blown it too much. God can never love me." Wrong.
Romans 8:39 (NLT) "… indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

God has never stopped loving you. That doesn't mean He approves of everything you've done, because He doesn’t, but no matter what He's never stopped loving you.

Some say, "I don't feel like I'm a bad person but I just don't think God's interested in me." You're wrong too!

Luke 12:7 (NCV) "God even knows how many hairs you have on your head. Don't be afraid, you are worth much…"

You’re worth much! In fact you ever want to know how much you're worth, just look at the cross!

What’s the starting point? Accept God's love for you.
It's one thing to know about God's love. It's another thing to accept it. You're never going to understand it until you accept it.

That means saying to God, "God I know You love me and I receive Your love. I don't want to just know about You. I want to know You."

The Bible says God created you just so He can love you. He knows everything there is to know about you. He knows everything you’ve ever done and He still loves you and wants you to know Him. He still wants to have a relationship with you.

He loves you unconditionally; don’t you think you should love Him back? That makes Him worth our acceptance of Him.

To love Jesus, first I have to accept God’s love for me, then I...
B - BELIEVE THAT JESUS DIED AND ROSE FOR ME.

Psalm 14:1 (NIV) “The fool says in his heart there is no God.”
Let me be totally candid with you here: You have to have more faith to believe that creation happened by accident than to believe there's a creator. When you have a creation there must be some creator.

It takes more faith to not believe in God than it does to believe in God. If I took a watch all apart and put all the pieces in a bag and shook it up - do you think it could come out as a working watch? No way! Somebody had to put it together. And it's an even bigger leap of faith to think the universe happened like that.

Its one thing to believe about a person but it's another thing to believe in a person.

Romans 10:9 (NIV) “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Some people say, "I believe there's a God." So what?

There’s more to loving Jesus than just head knowledge. It's not just believing about God, it's believing in God. The Bible says even the demons believe that God is real but you're not going to find them in heaven.

I believe Lenin was real but I'm not a Communist. I believe Hitler was real but I'm not a Nazi. I believe in Jesus and I'm a Christian. Why? Because I've committed myself to Him.

The Greek word for believe in means to trust in, cling to, rely on, adhere to, sell out to, commit to.

It's like the chair you're setting on. You say, "I believe this chair will hold me up." It's one thing to say you believe it. It's another to sit down on it. The moment you sit down on it, that's real belief. You relied on the chair to hold you up.

You need Jesus in your life. You need to have a relationship with God, not because you're going to die tomorrow, but because you're going to live tomorrow BUT you’re going to die someday. And only a fool goes through life unprepared for what he knows is going to happen. That's foolish. So be prepared.

So to love Jesus I need to accept His love for me. I need to believe that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the grave for me. And finally to Love Jesus I need to take that final step and…
C - COMMIT MY LIFE TO CHRIST.

Romans 10:9 (NIV) “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’… you will be saved.”

That’s what separates Christ followers from religious people. Religious people confess their religion; whatever that is… and Christ followers confess Jesus as their Lord.

You say Jesus; I commit my life to You.

You accept His love for you, you believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross for you and rose from the grave and then you commit your whole life to Christ.

I lived in Atlanta for several years. I served as a youth pastor at a church and then I went out on my own as a youth evangelist. I began speaking at camps and youth groups and I was even booked on a Christian cruise to the Bahamas. Most of the churches who booked me were Southern Baptist churches. They network, once you do a good job for one, they tell all the other Southern Baptist churches and you’re in. Then one day someone asked me, What are you? I said a Christian. They said no I mean are you a Southern Baptist. I said, no I’m a Christian. Now you have to know that most of my ministries had been at Baptist churches and I was originally ordained at a Baptist church. But the truth is I have always disliked being put into a mold; to me a religious title was never comfortable. And I saw this strong religious attitude that said, I’m a Southern Baptist so I’m saved. But I knew a lot of people who claimed to be So Baptist that didn’t know or love Jesus, they were just religious. Shortly after that, all my speaking opportunities dried up. The word was out, he’s not a Baptist! I hate religion!

1 Peter 3:14-15 (GN) "Don't be afraid of anyone and don't worry, but have reverence for Christ in your heart and honor him as Lord."

· How many of you would say "I try to follow the Ten Commandments."
· How many of you even know all Ten Commandments?
· How many of you have seen the Ten Commandments?
· Do you know what the first commandment is?

Exodus 20:6 "You shall have no other gods before Me."
That's number one on God's big ten! The Bible calls the opposite of that idolatry.

Any time you put anything, any person, any career, any job, any decision, any religion, anything in first place in your life instead of God; that's called idolatry.

It can even be a good thing, but if it's in first place in your life where God ought to be, you've made it god.

Any time you put your house, your job, your bank account, your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband of wife - before God that's called idolatry.

1 Peter 3:14-15 (TEV) “Do not be afraid of anyone, and do not worry. But have reverence for Christ in your hearts, and honor him as Lord."

That's not a word we use a whole lot. We don't have lords and ladies and counts in America. This is a democracy. So what does it mean to honor Christ as Lord?

It means let Christ be the manager of your life. Let Him be the boss. Let Him call the shots. He doesn't want to be resident in your life, He wants to be president in your life. You say “God, You be number one." That's what it means to commit to Christ, to make Him Lord. And that’s what it means to love Jesus.

Maybe you feel like things aren't fitting together very well in your life right now. Maybe you're feeling a sense of incompleteness.

You’re wondering why am I here? What’s my purpose?
Is this all there is to life?
If you've had those feelings, congratulations!

Where do you think those feelings are coming from? God!
God is putting a hunger for Himself in your life. He's saying "I love you and I want you to love Me.

He creates a dissatisfaction in your life that says, "There's got to be more to life than this!" Because there is!

There's a God-shaped vacuum in each of us. Nothing else can fill it. If you don't fill it with God, it will fill with something else.

Nothing else can substitute for God.
· It doesn't matter how much human affirmation you get,
· it doesn't matter how many awards you put on your shelf,
· how many achievements you get,
· how many possessions you stockpile,
Because nothing can substitute for God in your life; God says, I love you and I want you to love Me back.

Maybe you made a commitment to Christ a while back, but you got stuck in religion. It’s time to repent. Know what that means? It means to turn around and go the other way.
In other words, turn from religion and turn to Christ.
Stop being religious and start loving Jesus.

That’s why this is a key value and the second part of the Mission of The River, is to Love Jesus. We want you to fall in love with Jesus. He is the answer to all of life’s problems.

At the River we have discovered the keys to living life to the absolute fullest and it is found in a relationship with God who loves you so much he sent His Son to die on the cross for you.

That’s the foundation of our faith. It’s the foundation for life.

God's Love and Protection

"A thief comes to steal and kill and destroy. But I came to give life—life in all its fullness" John 10:10 (ICB)
"Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. " 1 Peter 5:8

I so appreciate God's love for us and how He has kept us safe and continued to bless us. We have had very little interference from the evil one. Yes Cathy and I have struggled with a couple of health issues, but all in all, God has blessed and the enemy has been restrained. Now I think part of this is because the Devil doesn't understand faith. I think he probably sat back like so many others and thought, who would go to Idaho, with no money, no church, and no people? Why would anyone make such a scary and silly decision? Well, like I said, the Devil doesn't understand faith. I think he sat back expecting us to fail, God to fail us, or for us to give up; not a chance! God has blessed and part of His blessing has been His restraint of the Devil and his followers! Thank you Lord for Your protection!

However, I must say he has taken notice of us, I am beginning to see his attacks on our church staff and some of our people. Now, understand, I am not a "the Devil is under every rock" kind of guy. But I know he is real, and I know he is dangerous. I have seen him work to take apart churches from the ground up. He is powerful, but only as powerful as God allows! For God is still in control! He is sovereign and He loves us! Praise the Lord!

We are coming down to the home stretch, so to speak, as we start The River, beginning with 7 preview services leading up to Easter Sunday when we will have our Grand Opening. Pray for us. Pray for God's continued blessings. Pray for God's continued protection from the evil one who hates the idea of another church reaching out to the unchurched and people far from God. Pray for us to know and understand what God is doing here and to have the wisdom to follow Him.

Pray for the staff of The River:

Dave Griewe - Lead Pastor
Don Steinke- Pastor of Connections
Dave Rowe - Pastor of Care
Kason Wadel - Worship Leader
Phil Eastman - Youth Director
Susie Tilton - Children's Director

God has miraculously assembled a talented and gifted staff with a huge heart for reaching the lost and seeing them grow in Christ. They truly Love the Lord and want to see people come to Christ and grow.

Pray for us as we get ready for regular Sunday services beginning on February 22, just two weeks away! Pray for people to step in and get involved, particularly in set up and take down. We are excited about opening the church with a full ministry and staff to provide leadership for each area. Pray for creativity as we program to reach the non churched and pre-believers in our area.

Praise God for His unimaginable gracious gifts and blessings! He has really blessed us every step of the way as we have followed Him preparing to give birth to The River!

Thank you for your prayers!

God is blessing!

Prayer Mail 9-26-08

Dear Friends,

"So you must be brave. Don't give up! God will honor you for obeying him."
2 Chronicles 15:7 (CEV)

My wife has this verse pasted on her computer screen. It's one of several verses that she leaves there most of the time. She is great at finding encouragement from God's Word. This verse is particularly powerful for us as we have taken a risk and stepped out in faith, uprooting our lives and moving to Eagle to plant a new church. We gave up everything we had, moved from our children and their husbands and our grand kids, with no security or guarantee of the future, just trusting and believing that we are being obedient to God's call. We have been here for a couple of months, working quietly but diligently while looking forward to what God is going to do with us here at The River. Finally, last Wednesday night we had our first information meeting; a meeting to gather people we have been talking to about starting a new church. Let me put this in perspective; when I started Desert Horizons Church, after 5 months we had our first meeting and we had two people show up. This week after 2 1/2 months we had 12! God is awesome!

God brought several different people with different backgrounds to come and check us out. I shared my testimony and the journey that led us to Idaho. Then I shared two key values and our mission statement. All 12 people indicated great interest and excitement about being a part of something new for the Lord.

One man I invited from my gym talked to me after the meeting. He said that when I invited him, he wasn't sure if he was going to come or not, but when he looked at our brochure he read on the front cover one of our key values, "No perfect people allowed". After reading that he said he had to come and find out what we were all about. He said he is a Catholic, who loves God but not the church! (Another key value for us: "We are a church for those who gave up on the traditional church but not on God"). He was very excited about finding a church that emphasized grace and forgiveness. I heard a very similar comment from another man who attended; he was one of the men who helped move us into our home back on July 1.

Cathy and I are so blessed that God is working like He is. We have had a quiet confidence and faith that God would provide, and He did. Now we are looking forward to October 8 when we begin our weekly bible Study and begin to develop our core group.

This Sunday I will be speaking at both services at Eastwind Community Church and meeting with their board to share my vision so they may consider providing financial support for the next year. The following week their pastor will meet with people who live in or around Eagle (about a 30-40 minute drive to their church) and he will be encouraging them to come and help us get started. The following Sunday I will be at a meeting at First Baptist Church where their pastor has invited people to come to an information meeting and he will challenge them to consider being a part of our church plant and I will share the vision God has given me for The River. Honestly, I have never been around pastors who were so kingdom minded that they were willing to give away their people for the sake of build the kingdom of God! It is refreshing and an absolute blessing! May God bless them!

Our next step is beginning our Bible study on October 8th. We are praying for a good turnout.

I will attend a Regional Pastors Conference next Monday through Wednesday. I am looking forward to meeting other ABC-NW pastors and sharing the vision of The River with them.

Our Crown Small Group study has begun and I am very excited about the truths we are encountering and learning. It's a real blessing to attend a group and not lead it! I am praying that we can begin crown small groups at least three times a year. The truths, if practiced, are absolutely life changing!

Prayer requests:
Pray for me as I speak on Sunday and a positive response from the people at Eastwind Community Church and from their board.
Pray for a positive response from the people at First Baptist.
Pray that God would send a solid core of committed believers from both churches providing the core group that will provide a spiritual and financial foundation for The River.
Pray for wisdom for me as I seek God concerning putting together the right team of pastoral leaders for The River. I am hoping to make some significant decisions in the next two weeks. God has led me to two excellent and Godly men who may form the core of ministry leadership for The River.
Pray for God to lead us to someone who is qualified and trained to start and run a children's ministry and another person to lead a youth ministry.
Pray for God to provide His person that can lead our worship ministry and band.
A note on Cathy:
This has been a much better week for Cathy. Last week was one of the worst, and this week has been one of the best! It seems that she is not in as much pain, the physical therapy seems to be working! We know there will be good days and bad days, we are praying that her good days begin to out number the bad ones and that she will be totally healthy soon. One of our big concerns has been she is struggling with speech and memory issues. Cathy has always had a near photographic memory but that seems to be affected. We had renewed a prescription her OB gave her after her hysterectomy and I read all the possible side effects and it seems that everything she is struggling with could be related to the medication she has been taking! It did not create her nerve and soft tissue damage but it may be hindering her healing and creating other issues (speech, memory, and unusual body pain). So Sunday she stopped taking it and we are waiting from her Dr. Please keep praying for her healing. Even if the medication has caused problems she needs for her nerves and soft tissue in her neck to be "regenerated" according to the PT, or what we call HEALED.


Thank you for your prayers. We couldn't make it with you! Keep on praying!
God bless,

Dave

Our Journey To Plant a Church

About a year ago, Cathy and I began to sense that God was making some major changes in our lives. With our daughters raised and gone, we felt God asking us to take a new step of faith. It was rather unsettling, sensing that God had something different for us; we had grown comfortable in our home, our church, and in Las Vegas. We had no idea what that change was going to be, but we quietly began praying and seeking God’s Will as He gently tugged on our hearts.

We visited Boise last fall for what we thought was a visit to check out Boise State University for our youngest daughter, Emily. The last thing on our minds was packing up, leaving the rest of our family in Las Vegas and moving to plant a brand new church! It caught us completely by surprise; but God used that initial trip to plant a seed in our hearts for the people and community of the Treasure Valley. Honestly, we didn’t know what to do with our desires at that time. Neither Cathy nor I discussed it openly with each other. We both thought it was just a silly idea in the back of our minds. But as we prayed and committed to seek God’s will, the desire continued to grow intensely. When we moved Emily into the BSU dorms in January, we drove the entire ten hours home talking excitedly about the strong pull we both had for the community. We still didn’t know what to do about it, honestly it confused us greatly. We knew we had a wonderful church family in Las Vegas that loved us dearly and that we loved ministering to.

Beginning last January we prayed, fasted, and sought the prayer support of close friends, pastors and family to help us discover what God’s next steps would be for us. Immediately after Easter, I sensed God very clearly telling me: Dave-go plant a church in the Treasure Valley!

Why? Idaho is currently the third fastest growing state in the United States. The Treasure Valley is the fastest growing area in the state and is expected to grow by 40% in the next ten years, to over one million plus. According to the Southern Baptists, nearly 90% of the people in the Treasure Valley do not have a personal relationship with Jesus. Statistics continue to prove that new church planting is the quickest and most effective way to reach people with the Good News of Jesus Christ.

In an exploratory trip to Boise last Fall, Cathy and I met with several pastors, most notably Bruce Young of First Baptist Church, Mark Traylor of East Wind Community Church, and Jim Steinert of Second Baptist Church. God had already been preparing them for our meeting. Each shared that they, along with some other pastors, had been praying about planting a new church! God bound our hearts together and each pastor committed their support. They next question was where would we plant a new church? I met with business people and pastors and every single one agreed the place with the greatest opportunities and need was Eagle! I went back to my church in Las Vegas and shared God’s new call for my life and began making plans to move to the Treasure Valley.

We rented a house in Eagle and moved in it on June 23rd. We have had our house on the market in Las Vegas since April. Knowing that we are trying to sell it during the worst housing market downturn ever in that area we decided to move to Idaho on faith leaving our home in God’s hands. We have it listed as a short sale and we are praying that God sells it before we lose it, but whichever way it goes, we are at peace. We trust that God is in control. We raised partial support before we left Las Vegas and we are living on that and our savings until we get the River started and it is able to support us.

We are excited about the opportunities to further the kingdom of God here in Eagle. God continues to open doors, but we cannot do this alone. We are asking you to partner with us, as your pastors have, through prayer and support.

Specifically:
· We need your prayers! If you will pray for us we will send you a weekly “Prayer Mail” email. It generally comes out the end of every week.
· We need your financial support. Church planting costs money! There are many needs that are unmet right now and there are even bigger needs in the near future. Here are several ways you can help meet those needs. You may support us on a monthly basis or you may choose to donate towards specific needs; i.e. office expenses, advertising, health insurance, rental space… If you are interested in financially supporting The River let me know and I will show you how.
· One of the greatest ways you can support us to join us! Again there are several options available to you: You may choose to make a commitment to help us in the start up phase. You may choose to make a one or two year commitment to The River or you may choose to make the River your new church home!
· We need God’s people to fill vital leadership roles for The River. Specifically we need leadership over connections/small groups, Worship/Youth, Children, and Administration. These are all key and vital roles that need to be filled if we are going to effectively reach non churched people and minister to the whole person and their family.


God bless you!
Serving our Savior,

Dave and Cathy Griewe

Taking Risks

I'm a risk taker. When I was younger I would take on any kind of risk, no matter how dangerous (or stupid) it might seem to be. Now that I have a few years under my belt, my risks are more calculated and a lot less physically dangerous! It seems, I may have grown up, at least a little bit! Actually, the risks I enjoy taking today are predominately God inspired. I am not the kind of person who enjoys the status quo or just getting along, or just getting by. That's boring to me. I love trying to figure out what kind of risks God wants me to take, and then taking them.

Planting a new church in Eagle, ID is one of those HUGE risks that God has led me to take. It was a risk to leave my Church in Las Vegas along with a regular paycheck. It was a risk to talk to people about supporting us as missionaries to plant a new church. And it was a risk to move to to a community we had never lived in before with the purpose of planting a church with the vision of reaching unchurched people with the Good News of Jesus. BUT we are here. With some financial support, our personal savings, and a call from God to "Go therefore into all the world..." Meaning we are to go into Eagle to tell people who are far from God about a God who loves them so much He sent His Son to die for them!

This is risky business! What if fail? What if we run out of money? What if we never get started? the first step is always the hardest... But we have done the work God's Word says to do when making risky decisions: I researched the Treasure Valley to see if a new church aimed at reaching unchurched people was needed, the answer is ABSOLUTELY! I analyzed what it will cost me in time, money, emotions, energy and effort. And we decided the risk was worth the rewards of seeing people become Christ followers and grow in their new faith. I developed a strategy; seeking wise counsel, anticipated problems, and we have prayed and prayed from the very first moment. And God gave us a plan. We announced our intentions to our home church in Las Vegas, to our friends, and family and anyone else who would listen, as a statement of faith saying we believe God wants us to plant a new church in Eagle! And now we are taking steps of faith. We left our home in Las Vegas and rented a home in Eagle. I have met with some godly pastors who totally support us planting a new church, and now we are completely trusting God for the results.

There is something absolutely freeing about living by faith, knowing that there is nothing I can do that will make this church successful. It is God, He is the One who makes us able to do all that we do (2 Cor. 3:5 NCV). That's true freedom!